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    May 29

    I Like This

     

    Hickory Dickory Dock.
    My balls fell out of my jock.
    I laid them to rest
    On some hooker's chest
    And paddled her face with my cock.

    Roll, roll, roll your cunt
    Gently down my prick.
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
    Then you'll suck my dick.

    Hey diddle diddle,
    The cat and the fiddle,
    The cow jumped over the moon.
    That's more than my lazy wife does,
    The fat, fuckin' smelly baboon

    Little Miss Muffet
    Sat on a tuffet
    A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.
    It woke up the spider
    Who lived deep inside her.
    He said "Hey, free electric and gas."

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    And Jack would try to hump her.
    Jill said No / and Jack said So
    I'll ram it in your dumper.

    Twinkle twinkle little star,
    Will she blow me in the car.
    I bought her dinner, she had fun.
    My balls are boiling, I'd like to come.

    Old Mother Hubbard
    Went to the cupboard
    To get her old dog a snack.
    The cupboard was bare,
    She didn't despair.
    She let Rover munch on her crack

    Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.
    Whacked off in the movie theater.
    Sprayed his load across the screen
    And ruined Titanic's final scene

    Jack and Betty, up in a tree
    F-U-C-K-I-N-G
    First comes Betty, then comes Jack
    Then comes the goo from Betty's crack.

    Little Boy Blue -
    He needed the money.

    Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
    Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
    When her eye was dry and shut
    Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut

    Old King Cole was a merry old soul
    A merry old soul was he
    He chewed off his tit
    And ate his own shit
    And washed it down with some tea.

    Hickory Dickory Dock
    Some chick was sucking my cock
    The clock struck two
    I dropped my goo
    I dumped the bitch on the next block.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    Both with a buck and a quarter
    Jill came down with two-fifty
    That fuckin' whore.

    Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
    Trim that pussy it's too damn hairy

    Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
    Eating her curds and whey.
    Along came a spider,
    Who sat down beside her
    And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"

    Old Mother Hubbard
    Went to the cupboard
    To get her poor dog a bone
    When she bent over,
    Her Rover took over
    And she got a bone of her own.

    Jack Sprat could eat no fat
    His wife could eat no lean
    So Jack ignored those flabby tits
    And licked her asshole clean

    Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
    Your mother's a whore,
    And I ain't your pop.

    Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
    Blew a horse, licked his feet
    She ate his ass so very nice
    Tongued his balls not once but twice

    Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
    Had a wife, loved to beat her
    Smacked her twice across the head
    Fucked her ass and went to bed

    Little jack Horner sat in a corner
    Eating a pizza pie.
    He shit pepperoni,
    Then blew his friend Tony,
    And wiped his mouth on his tie

    Twinkle, twinkle little star
    How I wonder what you are
    Shine upon the parking lot
    As I eat my girl friends twat.

    Three blind mice, see how they run
    Where the fuck are they going?

    Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe
    Suck my dick and swallow slow.

    Jack be nimble,
    Jack be quick
    Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick.

    There was an old lady
    Who lived in a shoe
    She had so many kids
    Her uterus fell out

    Patty cake, patty cake,
    Baker's man
    If your chick's on her period
    Fuck her in the can

    Mary had a little lamb,
    She kept in her backyard.
    When she took her panties off
    His wooly dick got hard.

    Doe, a deer, a female deer.
    Ray, the guy that fucked her ass.

    Rub a Dub Dub
    Three men in a tub.
    Faggots have threesomes, too-
    So fuckin' what.

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue.
    I fucked your mother's ass
    And she had you.

    May 24

    Uncles with Dirty Faces

    Why do old Chinese Uncles, and when I say Chinese I mean the cinapek traditional Chinese, like to wash their faces and spit phlegm in the toilet sink? I mean seriously, haven't you noticed that everytime you go to a public toilet, there will be these uncles washing their faces everytime they're done washing their hands? It's like a blardy ritual or a routine that they must go through everytime!
     
    And they normally don't just wet their faces cos they're hot or anything, they thoroughly wash their faces like they've never washed their faces before! And notice how when his head is down near the sink while he's washing, you'll start to hear "KHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIGHT.......PUI!!" and he'll spit out the biggest and most disgusting piece of phlegm ever!
     
    After that he'll take out his brown checkered handkerchief (from his back pocket always!) and start wiping his face.
     
     
    This probably only goes to show that:
     
    1. Chinese uncles have dirty faces that needs washing everytime they go toilet.
    2. They CONSTANTLY have alot of phlegm.
    3. All Chinese uncles have brown checkered handkerchiefs.
     
     
    Gross!
     
     
    May 17

    Pictures to make your mouth itch

     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    If you were reading this in the middle of the night, I'm sorry to trouble you.  =P
     
     
    May 08

    Torture

    It's 4.44pm in the office on a blardy hot Tuesday.
     
     
    And I am sleepy. VERY sleepy.
     
     
    My cup of extra 'kau' Nescafe is of no effect.
     
     
    I'm tempted to take the whole jar of Nescafe and start eating Nescafe by the spoonfuls.
     
     
    This is torture. And for whatever reason, time seems to move slower today.
     
     
    It's now 4.45pm.
     
     
     
    Sighh...