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April 25 IdiotTo the idiot muthafucking bastard who banged my car, left a huge mark and just left while my car was nicely, properly parked at The Curve yesterday, this is my hope for you:
If you're a guy, I hope that you will meet with an accident so bad that it requires for your BOTH your fuckin arms and legs to be amputated. BUT, I hope you do not perish from your injuries as I want you to suffer for the rest of your life while only being fed with a straw. Then I wish your girlfriend or wife or better yet fiance leaves you as they do not want to be burdened for life taking care of you.
If you're a girl, I hope that you get jacked and raped on the way back by TEN men, with broom up yours so bad till it leaves splinters internally. Again, I don't want you to die as I want you to suffer, scarred mentally and physically.
If you're a parent, I hope your children gets kidnapped, chopped up and sent back to you in pieces as a result of other people you might have pissed off by your fucked up, selfish attitude. Then I hope you get sent to jail for that for suspicion of arranging the whole murder. Then I hope you rot in jail while being whipped 10 times and gang-raped by inmates.
Muthafucka. April 21 If only everyday was like this...Well, not really. Cos then I won't appreciate beach holidays anymore. Plus I don't think I will be able to survive living in Kuantan after having lived in Bangsar all my life. Face it, I'm a typical, pampered city boy. Anyways, Kuantan was great and really met all my expectations of a simple, beach holiday getaway that was decided on a whim. Initially I was afraid that my ideal holiday would be ruined by rain, seeing how it's been pouring like crazy over the last two weeks in KL. Hotel was expensive, but I think it was well worth it as the service was excellent and the room wasn't too bad either. Only thing I regretted not bringing over to Kuantan was my "Guide to Malaysian Street Food". I say it wasn't easy findiing decent chinese food, hawker or otherwise, in Kuantan. Fortunately we're not too picky over food, so we still managed. However, the surprising thing was there was not a problem with flies or mosquitoes at all. AT ALL! We went to the fishermen village for dinner on our first night, and it didn't hit me till halfway through our meal that I haven't even seen a single damn fly at all. The only thing that I had to chase away were the cats jumping on my lap during dinner. I'll take chasing cats over flies any day! Beach wasn't as good as Perhentian (obviously), but still relatively clean and blue and un-penang. Overall, a very enjoyable holiday for us. I could tell she didn't wanna leave by the look on her face alone, so I take it as a good sign. People say holidays are a great way to take a break from work. I agree, but holidays also make you not want to COME back to work....so it's kinda de-motivating in a way. I'm already looking forward to the next holiday already. April 13 Love me"Sometimes I dream...that he is me.." - Charles Barkley on Michael Jordan
I think sometimes I worry too much about what I'm not, who I wanna be and what I hope to be rather than think and be grateful for what I already am. In other words, I may be guilty of self-pity to the point where I don't stop and think "hey, I've done a pretty good job so far".
Self-confidence has never been one of my greatest assets. Yes, I may at times tease others about their weight, physical looks, or sexual preference, but I've never had the "better-than-thou" attitude. I've always had a role model at almost every point in my life and my attitude has always been to set my "role model" as standard. The problem is that I'm constantly chasing for something that may or may not be there...be it my career or my personal life. Always constantly looking to improve myself and thinking how great it would be if I were to be like this/that guy.
Yet, now I'm starting to realise that hey, I'm not too shabby myself. In fact, despite my constant griping and whining about not being paid enough, I should be thankful for where I am today. I'm 23 year old, having a (sorta) steady job with a steady income and my company starting to realise my value. Everywhere I go and eveybody I meet, I'm still one of the youngest...which makes me realise how much more I have to learn and experience. Of course, there are lotsa other people at my age who are doing a heck lot better and earning 10 times my salary, but that don't necessary mean I'm doing a bad job. At 23, my age is probably my biggest asset and I can't wait to see what will become of me when I'm..say...30? At 23, I've got great friends and colleagues and my love life aint too bad as well.
I've gotta start being proud of me and not looking to constantly be somebody I ain't.
I'm Nigel Gan. Some call me Nigel, some call (or use to call me) Nij. Some (idiots) call me Neegal. My office admin calls me Ah Boy. My girlfriend calls me baby. My brother calls me a moron. At times I may be lazy, but I've recently realise that I will get the job done even if it kills me. I hate vegetables. I love to shop. I love writing, but I don't like using bombastic words cos my english ain't that good and I don't know how to use them. I love branded/designer stuff but can never afford to buy any. I have thick lips. I can be at times quite ignorant, gullible and naive. I love basketball to death and is praying for Kobe to finally win MVP this season.
I'm starting to love me. Join me, will you?
*P.S. This is just a crappy random post cos I haven't been posting up anything lately and kinda miss blogging. April 02 Why?I come everyday to the office thinking..."I don't wanna be here. I need something new and fresh. Something worthwhile".
I come in everyday working reluctantly cos I don't see the need to prove myself anymore.
I come in everyday thinking why should I put in so much when I get so little in return.
I sit in everyday meetings discussing exciting projects and already thinking of my role in the project. On the other hand, I'm thinking of not wanting to get invovled cos it just ain't worth working like a dog for it.
I come in everyday thinking of the new potential of the company to grow so much bigger and how I want to grow with the company. However, at the back of my head I know that things aren't likely to change and promises of bigger things will be left undelivered.
I come in everyday thinking I can get so much more elsewhere for what I'm doing now.
I come in everyday with so many questions. I leave everyday with no answers. |
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