I think I need to clear things up for all y'all.....Make y'all understand me a lil bit better:

 

 

 

No, don't get me confused. I'm not making a racist statement or shit like that. I just thought that it's time I straightened things up with all you guys. Cos most of you guys think that I'm a nigga wannabe, or a chigga, for a myriad of reasons, but most particuarly because:

 

1. I like listenin to hip-hop and r&b

2. The way I dress (particularly with my cap always backwards)

 

 

So, I think I need to start explainin why I listen to the songs I listen to and why I dress the way I do.

 

 

OK, firstly, my interest in hip-hop music all started when I was introduced to the game of basketball when I was about 9 years old. I was in Aussie when I was introduced to the game by my cousin, and I instantly grew addicted to the game. My cousin then bought me a lil ball to practice on, I started followin the NBA, I started downloadin basketball/ streetball clips from the internet..etc. And just FYI, in case y'all don't already know, basketball and hip-hop have always been connected to one another. It's because its the type of song you listen to when you're ballin. You don't listen to Green Day, or Nirvana, or the Spice Girls while you're ballin. No, you listen to NWA, Pac, Biggie, Kool G Rap, Ma$e, DMX, while you play ball. So once I started lovin everything about basketball, I started lovin hip-hop and r&b as well. And I will always have an interest in basketball, no matter how much I may suck at it. I don't think ANYBODY in Malaysia knows more about the NBA more than I do, I swear.

 

 

Secondly, the reason why I wear my cap backwards is plain simple: I look dumb wearing it forwards.

 

You might say "Why do you wear a cap at all then?". I always wear a cap cos my hair is always in a mess, and I never comb my hair. So, whenever possible, I try avoid gelling my hair and just flip a cap on! That's the ONLY reason why you guys always see me with a cap on! It's not that I'm tryin to impersonate Nelly or shit. Heck no.

 

 

So, there you go. I hope I've cleared things up. Actually, I shouldn't NEED to clear things up. Is it so wrong or weird for a chink to love hip-hop? Do I look THAT silly with my cap on backwards? (I hope not!)

 

 

So, I hope y'all will stop judgin me, stop trippin' and let me be mah own shizznit self, fo' real yo. Y'all ain't got a thang on me!

Some things scare the bollocks out of me the more I think about it.

 

So I was having dinner with my cousin who came back from Aussie just last week. He came back to Malaysia for a couple of weeks to show off his newly born kid. I haven't seen him in like, what, 3-4 years? And it was great catchin up with him. During the dinner he was saying that it was weird seeing all of us grown up.  But at the end of the dinner, as we said our goodbyes, something he said really struck me till this day. He just gave me a pat on my shoulder, shook my hand and said: "Alrite, see you at your wedding".

 

When he first said it, it didn't really hit me. But after I got back into my car, I was like "What the fuck did he just say?". My WEDDING? Fuck off. I'm only 21....years...old.......

 

 

 

The reason it hit me so bad was because that I'm starting to realise how time flies so damn quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday when we were all just sitting in the canteen in HIGH SCHOOL? I'm realising that it ain't gonna be long before one-by-one, we all start gettin married. MARRIED!!! And the fact that most of us are already working just accentuates how quickly time flies.

 

Alrite, why don't y'all just imagine me with a wife and kids. Nij with kids. Lil Nij's runnin all over the place. Making stupid jokes as they run all over the place. Wouldn't that be fucked up? Ain't nobody's gonna wanna hang out with me no more. My phone conversations with my friends will start goin like this:

 

Nij: Hey, let's go out for a drink

Friend: Sure. Is your kids comin along?

Nij: Of course I have to bring them out.

Friend: *click*

 

I'ma tell y'all. It's gonna happen real soon. Think about it. In just a couple of years time, we are all gonna be excited over somebody gettin married. The more I think about it, the scarier it becomes. I ain't ready to raise a family! Think about how fucked up my family will be? My kids listenin to Eminem instead of Mary had a little lamb, my mom scolding me cos I don't raise my kids up proper...It's gonna be one fucked up family I tell you. Imagine me SCOLDING my kids:

 

Nij: Go to your room son!! And don't you ever do that again!!

Nij Jr: FUCK YOU DAD!! How come YOU can smoke a joint but I can't?

Nij: I never said you couldn't smoke a joint! But don't you EVER steal my weed!! How many times must I tell you not to touch my shit???

 

 

Fuck, I think I just need to stop thinkin bout stuff like this and just enjoy my life (and freedom) now while I still can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you the type of person who just cannot take a joke? Or take things too seriously? Are your friends always telling you "Eh, chill pill la!"?

 

If you are, then it's likely that I DON'T LIKE YOU.

 

As many of you would know by now, I'm the type of guy who likes to look at the lighter side of things, never taking anything toooo seriously. I tend to tell (a lot!) of jokes when I hang around with my friends. And most of my jokes come in the form of sarcasm and teases.

 

I do know how to control myself though. When I see my victim getting a lil annoyed or upset, I end it immediately. I do not intend to make the whole situation uncomfortable or akward if he/she suddenly bursts out "EH, CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AR? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY MOTHER ISIT??". I also do not want to go home at the end of the nite with a black eye. Being the size I am, I couldn't defend myself if a grandmother came attacking me with her nail-clipper (probably after I made fun of her wrinkly toes). 

 

So, I don't really enjoy people who takes my jokes too seriously. There are people who would give me a killer stare after I teased them or made fun of them, looking as if I just took a gun and shot his mother in the head. I usually stay away, or rather direct my jokes away from these people cos I never know when they'll suddenly blow up and go all crazy. It's the same with people who I have just met or don't know that well. Being the moron I am, I would still wanna crack some jokes about them, but I go around it carefully. I will usually test the waters first, trying out a few harmless hits at them and see if they can take a joke. And once I find out that they CAN take a joke, they're fucked up. I also don't like teasing people who do not show a reaction once they get teased. These are the people who are boring. The more a person reacts to my jokes, the more I enjoy joking with them.

 

I do like people who can take a joke. I enjoy it even more when they can hit back at you (not physically, but verbally) and come up with their own comments and jokes. Heck, nobody gives and never receives back. I usually get teased as much as I hand them out, heck sometimes even more. I do admit I am an easy target to pick on anyway, and most of these jokes are on my lips being so thick that it would make Jay-Z go "Damn, you got some big muthafuckin lips!".

 

 

So, when I make fun of y'all, its all good natured. Don't go all PMS on me.

 

 

 

Speaking of PMS, I've always wondered what its like to have period crams? No, I'm not being weird. I'm just wondering how painful can it be? Girls always bitch about having period crams, and sometimes I just think that its just an excuse to act all bitchy.

 

Its pointless to bitch to guys about period crams as we will NEVER know how it feels like. Even she-males will never have period crams (right?). We can only imagine what it feels like. It's either girls have a lower threshhold of pain, or it must hurt REAL bad. I think the closest feelin guys would ever have to period crams is when we get kicked in the nuts. Girls, NEVER come close to hitting our groin area. There IS a reason why footballers cover their groin when they are standing in a wall during a free kick. Talk to a guy about getting hit in the nuts and you will notice that he will start squirming in his seat and crossing his legs. I think it's probably worse than period crams cos guys would ALWAYS remember every 'nut-kicking' incident they've experienced in their life.  

 

I wonder if Panadol will ever come up with a pill for getting kicked in the nuts.

 

"Ooh heaven is a place on earth!" - Belinda Carlisle

 

 

 

 

  

 

You know how sometimes things just don't live up to their hype? You know how people usually over-exaggerate over how nice or fantastic something is? And then when you actually experience or witness it for yourself, it ain't as fantastic as you thought it would be?

 

Well, that was what I initially thought Perhentian was. I was told that it was fantastic, but my skeptical mind was telling me "How nice can a Malaysian beach be?". I've been to Penang, PD, Langkawi, Pangkor....and they were all pretty sad (and dirty). The I've experienced prior to Perhentian was Sabah's Sutera Harbour, and that's cos the sea water was so clear as well. So, that was my mindset prior to the trip. I was excited though, not cos I was expecting a fantastic beach but more because I haven't been on a holiday in a long while.

 

When we arrived in Perhentian Island, it absolutely BLEW MY FUCKIN MIND! On the speedboat to the island, I was absolutely ecstatic upon seeing the sea water bluer than the sky! I wasn't prepared for this! I never knew Malaysia had BLUE seas! When we reach the island, we stepped off the boat onto the cool waters (literally) and walked to the beach. I got all excited again when I felt the sand was like powder going between my toes! I was literally in paradise!

 

The best part of the holiday though was our snorkling trip. We started at 10 in the morning and finished about 5 in the evening, and we were dead knackered after snorkling. But it was worth it though. I never knew that stuff under the sea could be so friggin beautiful. It was so pretty that I thought the hotels put all those corals and fishes there themselves just for snorkling. Snorkling was like entering a whole different planet. We saw crazy shit beneath the waters, from fantastic colourful corals to sharks and turtles. The amount of fishes (and different types as well) was unbelievable.

 

  

 

  

The snorkling trip was tiring though. It was so tiring we didn't even manage to finish the three bottles of alcohol we brought there. Heck, we didnt even finish HALF a bottle. We were just lazing by the beach that nite, whilst listening to music played by the most random deejay ever.

 

 

 

 

It was an absolutely, utterly fan-fuckin-tastic holiday, the best experience in my life. Perhentian Island DEFINITELY lived up to its hype, and maybe even surpassed it. I do hope Perhentian remains relatively unknown and stays the way it is though, cos commercialisation is a muthafucka. I am gonna make sure I WILL go there another time soon. It's just too awesome not to go there again.

 

 

 

Hawaii? Malibu? Nah, give me Perhentian Island.

 

 

Kuala Lumpur - A man was assaulted and molested while celebrating a friend's birthday in a club in Kuala Lumpur last Friday. Nigel Gan, 21, claims that two girls approached him and began removing his shirt and proceeded to pinch and molest him inside the club. He suffered minor injuries on his body, with a purplish-yellow mark over his left nipple and and severe cut over his right nipple.

 

Mr Gan however declined to comment if the girls had a personal vendetta or were intoxicated. He said that he will not press charges against the girls but that the suspects' breasts will not stand in his way of seeking revenge.

"Fuck...I'm LATE..!!!"

 

 

That'll happen at least one Saturday or Sunday a month.

 

You see, I'm one of the fortunate people who has a 5-day-week job. So, I usually spend the entire Saturday morning, and a lil into Saturday afternoon sleeping. However, once in a while I would see sunlight shining thru my small window and jump outta bed sayin, "FUCK, I'M LATE...!!". Cos I don't usually see sunlight when I wake up during the weekdays, so seeing sunlight shinin thru my window causes my "FUCK, I'M LATE..!!" reaction. Once I'm up, I'll sit down on my bed and think a little, thinkin what day is it. I would just sit there for four to five minutes just trying to remember what day is it. When I get real confused, I try to recall what happened the nite before. "Oh, we went drinkin last nite! So last nite must've been a Friday nite..!!".

 

And realising that it's Saturday and that I could go back to sleep for another 8 hours is the most wonderful feeling in life..!! Even better than sex..!!

 

Sometimes though, I'll get it wrong. Like this morning.

 

I jumped this morning, thinkin I was late again. Then, stupidly, I thought to myself.."Ah, its ok la..today's Saturday..". So I went back to bed. Ten minutes later I jumped again.."FUCK, it's NOT Saturday! FUCK I'M LATE...!!".

 

 

My life sucks.

We was talkin bout girls last nite, and its something I truly agree with all the guys.

 

 

Guys are the more dominant one in a relationship? Please.

 

 

 

Its them girls who have all the fuckin power in a relationship. Some may say I'm talkin a whole load of bull rite now, and most of them are probably girls.

 

Girls ALWAYS have the upper hand in a relationship. They wouldn't necessarily show it when their guy is hanging and chillin with his friends. Nah, they ain't that bad. They still will give "face" to their boyfriends. She would normally act all quiet and shy when she's around her boyfriend's friends. She would even be OBEDIENT! Yeah, ain't that some shit! Around their friends, the guys would go "Baby, can you stand up and get for me that", or somethin to that extend, and she would ACTUALLY get her ass up and do it!! You think she's just being nice and sweet right? WRONG! Dead wrong! She's just actin nice in front of his friends so that they will think "Wow! How I wish MY girl was like this!". Guys, do you realise she only does this when you're around your friends? When you guys are alone, try that shit. Ask her to do you a favour, and all you'd get is a long, hard, dagger stare. She don't even need to open her mouth and you know the message is "Do I look like your fuckin servant?".

 

Girls can make the most macho, dominant guys seem like mice. When a guy falls in love with a girl, and she knows that he is in love, that guy is SERIOUSLY FUCKED. If the girl is the more attractive one among the couple, he is once again SERIOUSLY FUCKED. Well, either way, the guy is SERIOUSLY FUCKED.  Cos if she knows that her man is head over heels for her, she knows that he would do ANYTHING to make that relationship work. She now has the upper hand. She could ask you to spend a thousand dollars, and he'd do it. He'd lick her shoes clean if she'd ask him.

 

And what's the deal with timing? Girls just cannot accept a guy for being late. A guy can a couple of minutes late, and she'll go all PMS on him. For god's sake, he's caught in a traffic jam! What's he suppose to do? Hire a cop car just to make way for him to pick you up? Being late ain't the only problem, if a guy is too early, he gets screwed as well. He would reach her house about half-hour early. She'd still be on the phone wit her girlfriend. The guy starts knockin on the gate, wantin to get in. Under her voice, she grumbles and complains to her girlfriend, "Aiya, my stupid boyfriend come already".  Still grumblin, she gets the keys and lets him in, not before giving him that stare. The guy would then wait for her, but then says "Darling, hurry up lar. Movie starts in twenty minutes lar". She then hangs up the phone and yells "Haiya Haiya! OK LAH OK LAH!". And just because he came early, the whole everning is ruined.

 

And let me talk about guys for a minute. Guys, ALL guys, would go to their mu'fuckin GRAVE, before admitting that he's in love. We just ain't gonna admit that we in love! Period! A guy could love his girl to death, but he'll still say to his friends when she ain't around "Ah, that stupid bitch". It just ain't "macho" to admit that they in love. And here's the funny thing bout guys; Whenever their girlfriend leaves them for like a couple of weeks, or a certain amount of time, the guy would go to his friends and say "Yes lah! Freedom for two weeks man!" WTF. He might as well say "Yes lah! No sex for two weeks man!". Truth is, the guy would probably feel a lil bit free for the first few days, not needing to worry about accompanying their girl, but after that he starts to miss her like hell. Most guys are emotional, but they ain't gonna show it. And its weird that guys are always portrayed as the "one-who-doesn't-give-a-fuck" in a relationship.

 

 

Don't get me confused, I ain't dissing girls. Matter of fact, I absolutely luv 'em. Most girls are extremely nice. That's the reason we guys fall for you init? It's just this weakness us guys have. But I guess its only fair that girls are the dominant one during the courting stage of a relationship. Cos, they willingly give up all power when the priest says "I now pronounce you husband and wife".

 

 

THEN it's the guys turn for revenge.