Hmmmmmmmmm......

 

"Nigel damn funny guy la.."

 

 

Funny

 

 

 

"Nigel damn chat sohai la..!!"

 

 

Sohai

 

 

 

"Nigel damn fuckin weird and crazy man.."

 

 

Crazy. Weird.

 

 

I probably have a reputation that'll stick wit me for as long as I live. I think I'll forever be known as a funny guy. Everytime I hang out with friends I come up with the stupidest jokes, have crazy/ hyperactive behaviour and make up parodies of songs. I always hear "Nigel ar...where can be serious wan...forever laughing and joking.."

 

Hmmmmmm...

 

They're probably right. I am ALWAYS joking and laughin around. I don't think my friends have ever seen the serious side of me. I even failed a laughing test...when they tested to see if I could stay serious and not laugh for ONE minute. As predicted, I couldnt' even last TEN seconds. The test was totally unfair tho...cos the test ITSELF was funny! And things just started popping up that was IMPOSSIBLE to NOT joke about (well, for me anyway!). It was torture. I can't be serious to save my own life. I'd rather die laughing than stay serious just to save my own life.

 

People always wonder how I work in an office being so hyperactive and goofy. I always get "I want to see you work in the office..or how you are when you are with your clients". I get that alot. And I'll leave y'all to slowly imagine how I'm like.

 

However, I DO have a serious side to me. Seriously. It doesn't come up often, but I really do. I don't think any of y'all have seen it though. Deep down inside, I'm actually a very sensitive and emotional guy. (I can hear a chorus of laughter now). But really, I do get hurt at some things people say, or angry at some shit they do, but I don't show it. I'd rather laugh it off than get all serious or angry or choked up about it.

 

Anyway, I was lucky to get off work early today, so I went to MidValley to buy an adaptor for my fuckin laptop. So, I was walkin around in MidValley when I realised that its been a looooong time since I've experienced no crowd in MidValley. Probably because I usually only go to Midvalley during the weekends when it's all fucked up since I've started working. So I was really enjoying myself today, walking around appreciating these rare times when I get to go shoppin during a weekday afternoon. You tend to take these lil things for granted. When I wasn't working last time and you ask me to go MidValley during a weekday afternoon, most probably my response would be "Ahh, fuck off la. Go yourself la!".

 

So, I was in line waiting to pay for something (OK, I bought some underwear!!) when this little girl kept running up and down near the cashier. This lil girl was wearing one of those shoes, you know, that goes cheetcheetcheetcheetcheetcheet every time she walks. Fine. But after a while it gets REAL annoying, especially when you're gettin impatient over the stupid cashier who was so damn slow (she was fuckin swirling her fingers around the keyboard..probably thinkin "Hmmm..now where is the number 9 button").

 

 

That stupid girl was still runing up and down. I was getting REAL annoyed now. Luckily, my turn came and I paid for my shit (OK, underwear!) and went off. If I was there a lil bit longer, I'd probably go crazy and start screamin at the lil girl "CAN YOU STOP RUNNING UP AND DOWN????????? DO YOU KNOW YOUR SHOES ARE FUCKIN ANNOYING????". I wonder what would've happened if I said that. She'll either stop, stare at me for a lil while, and then start screamin her head off cryin. Either that, or she'll just run up and down EVEN more and at an even FASTER pace, just to annoy me even more. If she does that, then you'll know she's gonna be a fuckin bitch when she grows up.

 

Don't get me wrong, I actually love kids. Not the R Kelly or Michael Jackson type of love. I mean I'm actually pretty good with kids. Kids love me (again, not that type of love). Kids go "Yay! Uncle Nigel is here!". Hmmm, I wonder if Omar's kids still miss me. From what he said, his kids always ask about me after I left the UK.

 

 

I probably (maybe even definitely!) still am a kid.

*Sigh*

 

Just another boring day in the office. I got fuckloads of work to do, but just damn lazy to get it done. I guess it's better to just get it done and over with, but somehow today I just can't push myself to do anything. Probably lack of motivation la...

 

Remember when I said the word "Love" was getting overused? Well, I think another word that is WAY overused is the term "Leng Chai".

 

Coming back from lunch, my walk back to the office was interuptted by this lady yelling "Leng Chai Leng Chai...oi mai DVD mo (Handsome boy Handsome boy...Do you want to buy some DVD's)? I turned around and saw this pretty lady waving to me, asking me to come over andb look at her "stuff". I went over for two reasons:

 

1. Wanted to see whether there was anythin good to buy.

2. Wanted to flirt with that (quite) pretty lady who just called me Leng Chai

 

So, I went over, and she handed me some DVD's which she thought I may be interested in. So I flipped thru the catalog, lookin thru those DVD's while bargaining, "How much one DVD? Cheaper abit la since you call me Leng Chai..". She then says, "Ok la...I give you cheap cheap. 8 dollar one DVD". So I gave in and bought one DVD.

 

So then, I walked away, feelin a dose of "Double Happiness", got DVD at a cheap price and got pretty lady call me Leng Chai.

 

 

Suddenly, I heard her calling out again "Leng Chai Leng Chai!". So I turned around, thinkin she was callin me back cos I left my wallet or some shit. To my horror, she was yelling "Leng Chai Leng Chai...oi mai DVD mo" at a fuckin, fat, ugly chinese bastard!! I stood there, stunned, lookin like a fool with a DVD in a plastic bag.

 

So I went back to my office, stunned, dissapointed and insulted. I felt so disgusted at the thought that I was probably as ugly as that fat bastard whom that lady called "Leng Chai"...

 

So anyway, went to the movies last nite as well to see Keeping Mum starring Rowan Atkinson aka Mr Bean. Was a pretty good movie, best British movie since Love Actually, I think. But you gotta really understand the jokes to enjoy the movie, thus explaining the lack of laughter from the Ah Beng Chinese people and the Malay couple sittin next to me.

 

So, there I was, standing in the queue, waitin in line to buy popcorn before the movie when I saw this girl. This girl looked like she was straight out of Hong Kong, Korea or Japan. Sheeeeet, the way she dressed was so damn horrible! Ok, I know everyone has a different dress and fashion sense (one person's meat may be another person's poison). Who knows? There may be tons of you out there who think "Fucka, this Nigel dunno how to dress wan ar? Think he look so cool all with his cap backwards all..". Fine, everybody has their own taste (and to those who say that about me, FUCK YOU!).

 

Ok, this was what she was wearing: Bright blue stockings that go all the way up to her knees, a blue (same colour) tube top, her father's fishing net as a jumper and she had red hair with a pony tail on the left side.I bet you can picture that girl in your head now, can you? Fortunately, she wasn't pretty, if not it would have been a COMPLETE turn off!! I can picture her going to that photo/sticker machine, taking pictures with that two-fingered salute (invented by the Japs, then stolen by the Chinese and Hongkees and then re-modified into the 1,2,3,4 and 5 fingered salute). Now you be the judge and then think if I was a lil mean to judge her.

 

 

 

Yay...it's time to go back home! I can't believe I finished my day off by writing this blog!! Wooohoo!!

 

Insane

 

 

Totally unbelievable

 

 

Crazy

 

 

What happened to me the past couple of days was downright crazy.

 

 

 

So I'm workin on my computer today when I took a glance at my watch.

 

6pm.

 

So I thought, "Maybe I'll just go home earlier today. It's Friday. If I leave now I'll probably reach home by 7.30 if I'm lucky". I started packin my stuff, took a piss, washed my coffee mug and left the office. Before heading to my car I popped into 7-11 just to buy some stuff to prepare for the usual looooong journey back home. Went to my car and unloaded all the things I bought: some crisps, 2 cans of Coke, some bread, a bottle of water. It was as if I was preparing for a picnic or somethin. Got a big empty bottle outta my trunk as well, just in case I needed to pee.

 

Got out of the parking lot, looked around, and somethin didn't feel right. I drove out a little and that's when I got witnessed the most SHOCKING thing in my life:

 

THE ROADS ARE EMPTY!!!

 

NO FUCKIN TRAFFIC???? Somethin ain't right!!!

 

 

You couldn't imagine how fuckin shocked I was. My eyes were bigger than girls in those Japanese comic books. My jaw was dropping to the car seat and shit. And my face was like that the entire journey home! It was the smoothest drive home from work I've ever experienced! I look at the other few drivers on the road and they had the same expression as me! You could see some cars parked along the side of the roads with their hazard lights on and shit, not being able to handle the shock. It just somethin we KL drivers ain't used to! It usually takes at LEAST an hour for me to drive home every fuckin day! It's usually traffic all the way from in front of my office to my bedroom doorstep!

 

Today I arrived home within 20 minutes!

 

You could see the Kwai Lohs along Jalan Ampang looking at all the drivers, probably thinkin to themselves "What's up with all the drivers today? Why do they have a strange look on their faces?". Muthafuckas, you ain't never experienced the KL traffic jam before!!

 

I arrived home. Parked my car, still in shoked and confusion, face still retarded. What the fuck was that?? Where were all the cars today? Did all the cars in KL get stolen?

 

 

I ain't used to this man! I hope its back to "normal" on Monday. My heart probably won't stand another shock.

There are some poeple who you sometimes tend to overlook...tend to take them for granted...

There are some people who you sometimes forget how important they are in your lives...

Since they've always been there for you, you tend to take for granted that they will ALWAYS be there...

 

I ain't proud to say that I do take my Dad for granted..

 

I may not show it often, and sometimes I do tend to forget, but I am in awe of what you have done for me, for us as a family...

Sometimes I may not realise how much love you have for me....and sometimes I forget how much you mean to me...

But there is one thing I always had for you: Admiration..

I can imagine how difficult it is to be a Dad...to be the sole provider for the whole family..

To put your priorities aside and put your family first..

I have nothing but admiration for all you have done...

 

For those who don't know my Dad, they don't know how great a father he is...

As a Dad, as a father, I couldn't ask for anyone better...

My Dad may be at times overprotective of me, and the whole family...and he STILL is...

But that again reminds me how much love and concern he has for us..

So much love that it would kill him to see any of us get hurt..

I did not realise that till last year..

The amount of sacrifices he has made for my family has just been awesome...

There are so many things in life that he has put aside so he could make me and my brother the people we are today....

So many things he wanted in life, but there ain't nothing he wanted more than to see his children grow up happy, healthy and successfully..

He was an absolutely strict father...but he had to be..

He didn't want his sons to be fucked up..

I know I'm fucked up...but that ain't his fault..

But imagine how even MORE fucked up I would be had he not disciplined me...

He thought me how to get my priorities right..

My Dad told me I had the freedom to choose to do anything I wanted in life..and he'd support me..

He's the type of guy that never gives up on me...no matter how many times I've dissapointed him...

Dad was probably the most supportive guy I have met..

He knew how much I wanted to stay back in the UK, and offered me to do my masters in the UK, just so I could extend my visa and my stay...

He even went to my university campus to enquire about me doing my masters...

But when he made that offer, I was so touched inside, but I turned it down...

He making that offer made me realise how much he wanted me to be happy..

I turned that offer down because my Dad has done too much for me....and just knowing that he was willing to make more sacrifices financially had me welling up inside...

It wasn't gonna be fair to him...he has done more than his part as a father...

It's time for him to enjoy himself....not worrying about me anymore...

Not needing to pay for me anymore..

 

When I was young I always tried NOT to be my father...

But the older I get, the more I become like him...

And the more I become like him, the prouder I become...

My Dad is one of the reasons I want to succeed in life now...

To make him happy....

 

Dad, its your birthday today..

Happy Birthday Dad...!!

All I want to say is thank you..thank you for being my Dad...

 

I also wanna give a shout out to Theo, whose birthday clashed with V-day...

I'm not gonna write so much about you...basically cos you aint worth it..:P

But hey, you're lucky man...At least you're guranteed to have sex every birthday..!!

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated...and get drunk in the process...and thats what we did...

Meeting up with you every time has been nothing but fun and laughter...

And I truly appreciate that....Grateful to have you as a friend...

You're 21 now....a year younger than me but I have so much respect for you ...

Dude, we gettin older now....but let's hope the fun don't stop..!!

As we struggle thru our early stages of working life, it's great to have struggling with me..

Its great to know that I have a friend who knows exactly what I'm goin thru rite now..

And what I was goin thru when I first came back..

And as we grow, lets hope our friendship grows as well..

I wish you nothin but the best in life..

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'ma believer...

 

Yeah, I believe in God and all the shit he's done for me.And I'm thankful for all that and proud to say that I'm a Christian. I think all Christians should be proud to BE Christians.I'm cool with spreadin the good news and all that shit. But there are alot of Christians out there make me sick. If you are one of them Christians who go around saying "Oh, I don't want to cheat because I'm a Christian" or "I don't treat my maid bad cause I'm a Christian", the next seven letters are for you: FUCK YOU.

 

Everytime I hear that type of statement being made, it just makes me feel like hitting that person in the face (but I won't do it, cause I'm a Christian!). If you are not a Christian and a strong believer in your own religion, wouldn't you find that statement downright offensive? Are you saying that OTHER religions ALLOW their followers to cheat or ill-treat somebody? When you say shit like that, are you saying ALL Muslims or Bhuddists or Hindus cheat and lie and kill?

 

Yes, it's good that you're proud to be a Christian, as you should be. But saying shit like that shows how ignorant you are. Having a religion, no matter what it may be, is a good thing in itself. It helps keep us honest, it helps keep us faithful, helps us live. I think I can safely say that NO religion encourages cheating, or killing, or messing around with people's spouses.

 

And if you are one of those who degrade, insult and criticise ANOTHER religion, the next thirteen letters are for you: FUCK YOU HARDER

 

Who the fuck are you to criticise a religion, ANY religion? What makes your religion more correct than another? Whatever answer you can come up with, don't you think another person of another religion can come up with the SAME answer? Does he not see the work of God? Has his religion not seen any miracles? And what makes you think that what you have been taught for your whole life is correct? What if what you have been believing all your life is suddenly proved wrong? What if suddenly the high priest or the pope suddenly announces "Oops, I made a mistake all this while. Sorry y'all" ? Hey, till some hundred years back we thought that the world was flat, so any discovery in the future is possible.What if it really happens? There ain't nothin you can do but stick your fist up your own ass init?

 

I may joke and poke fun at other religions, but that's as far as my intention goes: jokes. I do not mean to degrade or criticise your religion or belief. I am not saying my belief is far more correct than yours and yours is nothin but a whole load of bullshit. Whatever I've said (you know me, I have said some dumb shit), I meant it all in good humour. However, if you DO take it personally or if I offended you, I apologise and I take it back.

 

So, go ahead, be proud of your religion. Its good that you have such a strong faith in your religion or God. But criticising and degrading another is wrong. And if you're a Christian, you don't do or say something that is wrong.

'All you need is love' - The Beatles

 

 

Love, love, love, love, love, love.....

What is love?

 

I think the standard for "Love" has been lowered...

The word "Love" is being used too often these days...

Didn't "I Love You" used to be knowned as "Those three magical words"?

These days the words "I Love You" seems more protocol than magical...

People would be going out for only a couple of weeks and they start saying "I Love You" to each other...

Does it mean nothing no more?

When Mariah Carey says "I LOVE Y'ALL" after she receives her grammy, does she really?

Does it mean I get to sleep with her?

Or is this an era where you just HAVE to say it....whether you mean it or not..

However, I think "I Love You" has taken a whole new meaning...

When guys say "I Love You", he usually means "I want you to THINK I love you..And maybe you might fall in love with ME instead...and maybe we can go to bed together"...

When girls say "I love you", she usually means "I want you to know that we are now in a REAL relationship...so don't go fuckin around wit other girls no more...and NOW I don't have to feel bad about askin you to buy me stuff"...

 

What I'm really saying is that people these days get confused...

They say "Love" when what they really mean is "I really LIKE you alot"...

 

People would stop me right here and say "Hey, muthafucka..Love has a different meaning to different people!!"..

That IS true...

If you ask 10 people to define what love really is, you would get 10 different answers...

To me, "Love" means having a strong feeling of affection for something or someone...

Wait, I think its more than that...

Love means having a strong passion for somebody...for something...

Loving somebody means not wanting anything in return except to be loved back...

If you really love somebody, you would be willing to change your whole life just to be with them...

It takes an effort to love somebody...It really does...

Loving somebody means loving the the PERSON...

Not for their looks, not for their money, not for their big tits (although it's easy to love a girl with big tits)..

You have to love everything about that person...including/ despite his flaws..

Ain't nobody's perfect...but if you really love someone, you start to think he/ she IS perfect..

You'd want to spend every waking moment with them...

You'll feel incomplete if they ain't with you...

 

You may LOVE somebody, but LOVING them does not necessary mean you LIKE them...

Confused?

Easiest example would be your parents...

I love my parents like HELL, but it doesn't mean I like to hang out or spend time with them...

But I still would do anything for my parents..

If my dad lost his hand, I would rip out my own hand and give it to him...

(He would look weird though....my dad's fair and hairy while I'm dark and hairless..!)

I would risk my LIFE for them...

 

Risking you own life...hmmm..

I think that's the ultimatum for love....

If you really say you love somebody, would you be willing to change or risk your life for them?

If your partner was crippled or paralysed from waist down, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with him/her? Would you be willing to carry him/her around and suffer with them?

Not many people can answer that question without hesitation...

 

 

 

The good thing about all this "Love" is that I hardly see any more hate goin around...

There is more love than hate these days..

For those who know me, they know it'll take A LOT for me to hate somebody...

I can easily hate SOMETHING, like my stupid computer in my office, but I hardly ever, maybe even NEVER hated anybody...

You would have to do a whole lot of shit to me for me to hate you...

I actually find it difficult to hate somebody...

I find it a whole lot easier to forgive, forget and move on...

Why hold a grudge?

If you annoy me, I will ask you to shut up..but I don't hate you...

If you steal from me, I will punch you in the face....but I won't hate you...but I'll be more careful around you though....

There ain't anybody in the WORLD that I hate now...

I can't say I LOVE all of you though...

 

I think Lloyd Banks says it best when he says "I can't say I love you I don't know what that means.."

Come to think about it, lotsa people don't...

They don't really know the meaning, or rather the consequences of saying "I Love You"..

So, we should really think about it before saying it...

It would be great if "I Love You" would go back to being "Those Three Magical Words" again...

 

 

Man...it's 5 in the morning...

 

I kinda hate comin home at 5 in the morning..

Tis the second time this week I'm comin home at 5 in the mornin...

It kinda fucks up my whole day...

 

I'ma be goin to bed soon...and probably wakin up in the middle of the afternoon..

So, half the day's gone...

And the fucked up thing is...I always feel real lethargic every time I wake up so late...

I'll be lazing around the whole day..doin shit...probably lyin in front of the TV for hours...

 

You know its REAL late when the birds starts singin...

You know its EVEN later when the sun starts risin...

 

Another fucked up thing about comin home so late is I won't fall asleep for another couple of hours...

Things will just start poppin into my tiny lil head...

 

I don't know how the rest of the guys can do this almost everyday...

I guess I just ain't used to it...

I hope I DON'T get used to it..

It's kinda sad to be doin this every day..

 

I think I just heard some sounds downstairs...

My grandma's probably up already...She wakes up pretty early...

And I HAVEN'T even gone to bed yet...

 

Sigh..maybe I'll just hope into bed rite now...

Hopefully I'll fall asleep....Hopefully I don't start to think about shit...

 

 

5 am...