Gong Xi Nian Gong Xi Nian...

Chinese New Year is the only time where I have a higher tolerance level for Chinese songs...

I think my new year resolution should be to learn the meanings (words) of ALL the Chinese New Year songs...

Somebody please help me with this resolution..!!

OK, these are the list of Chinese New Year Songs I know of:

Ok, so I'ma be brave and say that if I DON'T know the meanings of these Chinese New Year songs by the end of Chinese New Year, I'ma donate all my Ang Pow to charity (it ain't much anyways)!

 

Speaking of Ang Pows, I still stand behind my belief that Ang Pows should increase the older we get...

My Ang Pow level has been even LOWER than expected...

This is where the phrase "Ka Ni Na Bui Chow Chi Bai" can be put to use...

 

I've just realised that I NEVER seem to win everytime I gamble...

I always start off winning a lil and then go on to lose fuckin loads of money...

It's the same every fuckin time...

I don't know WHY I still bother to gamble...

I think I may have lost MILLIONS over the years due to gambling...

There's no reason for me to continue to gamble...But it's an addiction...

Funny thing is shouldn't we be addicted to something we ENJOY?

I don't enjoy gamblin.....But I still gamble...

So the next time anybody sees me gamble, walk right up to me and SLAP me in the face..

Then I'll come to my senses...

 

 

Keep safe y'all..I'm off to play Black Jack.

On the first day of New Year my true love gave to me...

Her "abalone" so tight and juicy....!!!

 

Ha...I wish...

 

Chinese New Year is here peeps...!!!

It is a time for visiting, eating, drinkin, and gambling....

Fact, Chinese New Year is a clear definition of who we really are...

We Chinese actually eat, drink, and gamble all year round...

Only difference is during Chinese New Year we bring it to a whole 'nother level...

We EAT more, we DRINK more...and we GAMBLE HELL MUCH MUCH MORE...!!!

 

The one thing we look forward to during Chinese New Year, the Christmas present equivalent, is receiving Ang Pows..!!

However, shouldn't it be that the older we get, the MORE we should get?

"Aiya...you working now so no need give so much lar.."

What the fuck...

It's because I'm OLDER that's why I need more money...I VALUE money even more than I did last time..

It's not like I use the money to buy sweets and toys and shit..

I need the money to buy petrol, to buy lunch, to pay bills, to get some pussy...

I need the money..!!

Furthermore, the older I get, the closer I get to gettin married...

Which means you won't have to give me Ang Pows no more...

So you only have about TEN more Chinese New Years to give me Ang Pows...

And givin a lil more won't kill you...

 

And speaking of marriage, why do they ask this question the same time they're handing the Ang Pow to me...

"Wah, you getting older now ar...When you getting married? Very soon no need to give Ang Pow loh.."

 

My reply was:

"When will I get married? FUCK YOU..!!! If you don't wanna give me Ang Pow, then DON'T GIVE! I DON'T NEED your stupid five-dollar Ang Pow. You cheap fuck. Here, take back your stupid five dollars and I'll give you ten dollars since you seem so fucking poor. Get married it seems. I am closer to fucking your daughter than to getting married. So don't ask stupid questions!"

 

Nahlah...You think I am that disrespectful? (Or have the balls to say that?)

It just irritates me sometimes...

They want me to give them Ang Pows instead?

No problem, only thing is my Ang Pow comes in the form of two middle fingers..!!!

 

Ever wondered why the colour red means "Luck" to Chinese people?

I just figured it out recently..

Well, at least based on my personal experience....

Red is the colour of blood...It is also the colour of women's blood ..You know what I mean...

There was a time when my ex-gf was a couple of weeks late..

So I thought she missed her period...

Was a lil panicky...

But fortunately, after two weeks, her period came...

And upon seeing that red blood, I patted myself on the chest and said "Wah, lucky!"..

 

 

Have a freakin, hot Chinese New Year y'all...

 

 

A point guard's duty on the basketball court is to spread the ball around and ensure that the team's offense run smoothly. Point guards have to have exceptional vision on the court, able to see which teammate is open and making cuts to the basket. To be able to make a pass successfully, great point guards have the ability to pass the ball to a teammate without directly looking at them, otherwise the opponent guarding you will be able to dictate to whom you're passing to (called telegraphing a pass) and then go for the steal.

 

I've been playing the point guard position ever since I started playing basketball, therefore I too have develop this "vision".  This gives me an added advantage when it comes to looking at girls.

 

I was walking back to my office yesterday when I saw this pretty lady coming from the opposite direction. I hadn't had to look directly at her to tell that she was kinda pretty. As she went pass me, as all guys would do, I turned around to take a second look at her, wanting to know if she looked great from behind as well (particularly focusing on the ass region).

 

To my surprise, when I turned around, I saw that she was the one who turned around first to look at ME. Embarrassed, she quickly turned back and continued walking away.

 

Upon reaching the office, I checked whether my zipper was down or whether there was a hole in the back of my pants, just in case she wasn't checking ME out but looking at some big hole in the back of my pants. To my relief, nothin was wrong and I straight got a boost of ego. A pretty girl was checking ME out. How about that? I ain't too ugly after all..!!!

 

Anyways, couple of interesting news in the papers today. The first was about China's greatest export: Yao Ming. Yao is quickly becoming China's ambassodor, making sporting and marketing headlines. Mention China to an American, and Yao's name will come up. But an article in today's papers revealed that Mr Yao was actually born and bred for this game, as most Chinese athletes are. Matter of fact, his parents (both former tall professional basketball players) were forced together so that they can create a tall child with natural basketball abilities. Its kinda makes you feel for Yao, being forced into the game since birth and undergoing almost military-like training.

 

However, the thing that struck me the most when reading the article was that Yao was my height NOW when he was eight freakin years old!!! Alrite, I ain't the tallest of guys, but how weird would it be if I bumped into an eight year old now who's the same height as me!! I can't imagine how Yao takes a piss. His penis will probably be like five feet away from the toilet bowl when he stands up to pee. No wonder he's such a great shooter.

 

In other news, women can now renew their virginity.

 

WTF??

 

It states that women can now undergo surgery to reattach their hymens so they can give their partners a "newly opened" sensation. As if women don't lie enough, they come up with this thing so women can now lie about their virginity.

 

Imagine if this "re-virginising" thing got popular in the near future. Imagine me on my honeymoon with my wife and doing it for the first time. I'll see blood on the bedsheets and look at my wife and say "Yeah, right!".

 

 

Peace. I gotta get back to work!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, there ain't no interesting topic today..

It's just that I haven't written anything for a while now..

But part of my job requires me to write alot..

So, I guess it's just good practice to write constantly..

I also decided to have a categories for my entries..

So, I will have a Interesting Topic of the Day weekly....

 

Well, things have been a lil boring since New Year's Eve...

Have also been kinda busy with work lately,so nothing interesting has happened to me thus far...

 

Part of my job is to scan and monitor newspapers..and thats what we do first thing in the morning..

This is to see whether any press releases that were pitched by us came out in the news..

Anyway, its kinda boring...especially when you have to scan thru the Chinese papers not knowing a single chinese word (or character?)...

Speaking of the local Chinese papers, what's up with Jay Chow (Chou?)?

He appears in the Entertainment section of the Chinese papers EVERY SINGLE DAY..

And no, I'm not exeggerating...EVERYDAY...!!

And it's not like he's good lookin or anythin...

 

My job also made me realise that I was totally oblivious to the outside world when I was in the UK...

I wasn't even aware when the Tsunami hit Asia...

I remember gettin a call from my Dariush askin me if my family back home was alrite...

Being totally blur and wonderin why all of a sudden he was concerned bout my family, I just said yes...

Then, a few hours later, my Dad called up and told me that everything was alrite...

Again, being blur and not wanting to STAY blur, I asked my dad "What's goin on?"

"Don't you know bout the tsunami?"

......

 

Ignorance isn't bliss....it makes you look retarded...

 

 

Anyway, in a couple of weeks, Chinks all over the world celebrate the New Year Snoop Doggy Dogg style...

This is the year we give thanks to people like Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Keling Dogg..

I'm actually lookin forward to Chinese New Year as I miss out on the celebrations last year...

(I remember we were gamblin with 5p coins)

The gambling, the food, the long-yok/bak-kuah, the mandarin oranges (cum?)...

Ahh...it's great being a Chink no?

 

Oh, I also found out that I'm in love with Amber Chia...

Hey, thick lips should go together with thick lips..

So, if anyone of you know Amber, do me a favour and give her my number...

 

So, before I end this, I wanna wish all y'all Chinks out there...

Have a prosperous Chinese New Year..

Gong Xi Fa Chai...

Oh, does anybody know where I can download some Chinese New Year songs?

I especially like the "Gong Xi Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni Ya" and "Tong tong tong tong chiang"..

 

 

Peace..I'm out...

I'm a grown ass man now..

Heck...I'm 21 muthafuckin years old..

And I'm glad that I grew up to be the person I am today...

I'm entering a new stage in my life....

Kinda scary..but kinda exciting as well..

 

If I were given the option of going back to being a 1 year old, I would do it only for ONE reason...

Remember how it used to be when we all were small, freakin, irritating babies?

Well, I don't think any of you can remember shit when you were 1, but just take a look at a 1 year old kid and you'll get what I'm sayin...

 

NO WORRIES..!!

Babies ain't got shit to worry about..

Nothin...

In fact, babies have people worrying for THEM instead...

When they're sleepy, they just cry and somebody will take care of them..

After takin a shit, they just holla and somebody's gonna wipe their ass for them...

When hungry, they just cry again and a nipple comes to their mouth..

(Just IMAGINE if I could do that now...I just cry and a nipple will appear rite in front of me...I'll be a fuckin cry baby!!)

You get what I'm sayin?

They ain't got NOTHIN to worry about...

 

Being a grown up, you got shit loads to worry about...

After graduatin, you start worryin bout pickin a right career...

Then you start worryin about being able to get a job..a GOOD one..

Upon getting a job, you start worryin if your paycheck's gonna feed you for one month...

Don't forget about the bills you gonna have to pay..!!

 

Once you've settled into the job, you start worryin if the jobs gettin you anywhere...

You start worryin whether you gonna be doing this for the rest of your life...

You start worryin if this jobs gonna help you settle and build a family..

Speakin bout family, you also start woryin bout meeting the rite person..

The person you wanna spend the rest of your life with..

The person that's gonna want to spent her/his rest of their lives with YOU..

Or you start worryin if you will EVER find somebody right for you...

 

Once you've found that special someone...You just figured that your worries have JUST begun..

You buy a home, have some kids...

You worry bout havin a job good enough to support them...

Heck, you start worryin bout your kids...

You love them so much, you would do anything for them, you want what's best for them...

You start worryin if they're doin alrite in school...

You start worryin when they go out late nites...

 

Once you get older, you're almost ready to retire, your kids are all grown up..

You start worryin bout your health...

You still worry bout your kids...if they have a good job, if they're gonna get married...

You start worryin if they still care about you..

 

 

 

 

I don't know what lies ahead of me..

Shit...I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow...

I might go to work, my boss might tell me I'm promoted..

Or I might go to work, boss says I'm slackin, and tell me to clear my desk...

Or..I might just crash my car and die on the way to work...

 

All I know is I wanna make the most of my life while I'm still around...

Since I know that I'm gonna have a LOT to worry about, might as well do something to make my worries worthwhile...

I just know I wanna do somethin fun in my life...

I might suddenly change my career choice..

I might go back to the UK to start a new life there....

I might just work my fuckin ass off and see how far this career takes me..

I might still wish to be able to cry for a nipple (or two)...

I just know I wanna do something different...Somethin out of the norm....Somethin fun and challenging...

 

 

 

But I'm worried if I'm gonna be able to...